bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do vagina's smell?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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