you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Two words: nipple clamps
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