I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
