Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ugly people sure do ruin things
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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