so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
