I feel like I'm in dance class right now
smell my finger.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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