Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
