I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
