My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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