if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
