I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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