Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
