everyone is single if you try hard enough
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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