So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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