you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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