My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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