can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need to sanitize my soul.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
