I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
