I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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