hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
