North Korea, Best Korea!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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