If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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