mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she told me i tasted like america
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
