Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
