2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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