Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry about my life...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
