Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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