with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
