i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
