My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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