Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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