porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
