come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
