He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
