barbara walters just said penis...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
