there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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