Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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