home. puking in laundry basket.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
