I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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