Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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