Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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