physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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