i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
