Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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