just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I understand Curling. That high.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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