Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
