Apparently you make a good broom.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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