Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
