these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
