I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
