i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
