when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
