dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize