Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
