How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
