if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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