brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Randomize