He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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