OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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