Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
