Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
