Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
