Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
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C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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