Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
