I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
