i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
