You're my little dorito
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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