Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize