? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
