Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i will never coherently bang her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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