420 ftw
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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