i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
