So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize