I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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