Kareoke will never be a sober sport
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
