I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
